I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I AM VODKA MAN
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
