A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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