ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
