Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
