I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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