just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize