How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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