allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
