We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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