Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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