chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
