You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
