I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
