I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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