did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
