their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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