You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
