nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
