Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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