im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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