Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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