hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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