fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
