i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
