1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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