just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize