I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
