mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Randomize
