I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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