Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
