im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
