This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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