Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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