i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
