4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
