Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
