Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
