She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
