dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
