dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
