dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
