Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
