I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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