My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
