Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
