I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize