ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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