Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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