I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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