i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Enjoy the penises
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
