Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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