Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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