I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
