And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize