just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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