I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
